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Weddings and betrothal: practices that mark them

Blessings, protection against envy and the rites that bind two families.

Weddings are heavy with protection and blessing. Families the world over fear envy and the evil eye at the point where two households join, and many wedding customs are meant to guard the couple, bring fertility and bind the match. Examples include the Indian haldi and mangalsutra, the Jewish glass-breaking and canopy, the Moroccan henna night, the Chinese red dress and the European horseshoe and confetti. This page looks at what these customs are said to do.

Guarding the couple

Weddings gather people, food and attention, which makes them a target of envy in many belief systems. Brides in the Middle East and North Africa are surrounded by henna, amulets and kohl. In India the bride is marked with haldi and kajal, and a black dot may be placed against the evil eye. In Turkey, the couple may wear a blue bead, and Jewish tradition includes the covering of the bride's face. A new bride in some regions is protected by older women of the family, who stay close and watch for envious looks.

Binding and blessing

Vows, knots and rings carry the idea of binding. In Hindu weddings, the couple walks around the sacred fire and ties knots in their garments. In Scotland, handfasting once meant joining hands with a cord. Blessings call on ancestors and gods: Yoruba couples are blessed with kola nuts, and Christian weddings ask for God's blessing. Songs, dances and teasing rites also play a part, and many are as much a social event as a spiritual one, with neighbours, cooks and musicians all taking a role.

Fertility and omens

Many customs aim at fertility and prosperity: rice, nuts or grain thrown over the couple, bowls of sweet food, a child set on the bride's lap in several regions. Omens matter, with auspicious dates chosen by astrologers in India, and rain on a wedding day taken as lucky in some places and unlucky in others. Many of these customs are said to be older than the religions that now host them, and each faith has made its own rules about which are acceptable.

Pressure and change

Wedding customs can carry harm: dowry demands, child marriage and virginity tests have been justified by tradition and are illegal or condemned in many countries. In the diaspora, couples blend customs and may drop some. A commercial wedding industry now sells charms and rituals, some of them taken from cultures outside the couple's own. Some of the same customs have been questioned by reformers for the pressure they place on the bride and her family, and many couples now choose which to keep.

Weddings and betrothal on EveryJaadu

The entries written up so far, best known first.

🇨🇳 China and 5 moreChinese fortune telling算命 (Suànmìng) Reading faces, palms, birth hours and places to map a person's luck through lifeTradition · Seeing and foretelling · Luck and prosperity Living 🇮🇳 India and 2 moreHomaहोम A fire ritual found across Asian religions where offerings are burned as a votive exchange with the divine.Rite · Protection · Speaking with spirits and the dead Living 🇰🇪 Kenya and 1 moreMaasai religion The spiritual beliefs of the semi-nomadic Maasai people of East AfricaTradition · Protection · Healing Living 🇮🇹 ItalyFortunaFortūna The Roman goddess of luck and fate, shown with a wheel and a horn of plentyBeing · Luck and prosperity · Seeing and foretelling Historical 🇮🇳 India and 1 moreAshtamangalaअष्टमङ्गल A set of eight sacred symbols used in Indian religions to mark auspicious occasions and teach spiritual truths.Tradition · Power and authority · Wonder and entertainment Living 🇮🇳 IndiaHindu astrologyज्योतिष (Jyotiṣa) A traditional Hindu system of astrology and timekeeping rooted in the VedasTradition · Seeing and foretelling · Luck and prosperity Living 🇨🇳 China and 5 moreJoss paper金紙 Paper burned as money and goods for ancestors, gods and the deadCharm · Speaking with spirits and the dead · Luck and prosperity Living 🇨🇳 ChinaZhang Guolao张果老 A Taoist immortal known for his white donkey and fish drum, said to be a bat spirit.Figure · Protection · Luck and prosperity Legendary 🇮🇳 India and 1 moreRangoliरंगोली Floor art made with coloured powders and flowers to welcome guests and deitiesTradition · Protection · Luck and prosperity Living 🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 4 moreTelling the bees A Western European custom of informing bees about major household eventsRite · Protection · Speaking with spirits and the dead Living 🇮🇳 India and 5 moreBindiबिंदी A dot worn on the forehead to mark spiritual focus and cultural identityCharm · Protection · Power and authority Living 🇯🇵 JapanKuda-gitsune管狐 (kuda-gitsune) A small spirit kept in a tube or sleeve to aid fortune-telling and cursing in Japanese folklore.Being · Seeing and foretelling · Cursing and harm Legendary 🇮🇪 Ireland and 5 moreBonfire A large outdoor fire used in seasonal festivals and religious feasts across many culturesRite · Cleansing and purification · Speaking with spirits and the dead Living 🇩🇪 Germany and 5 moreMaypoleMaibaum A tall wooden pole raised for European spring festivals, accompanied by dance and celebration.Tradition · Luck and prosperity · Love and attraction Living 🇪🇬 Egypt and 5 moreSacred dance Movement used in worship to honour deities, heal communities, or connect with the spirit world.Tradition · Protection · Healing Living 🇺🇸 United StatesKahuna A Hawaiian expert or priest, keeper of hidden knowledge in craft and spiritTradition · Healing · Seeing and foretelling Living 🇨🇳 China and 3 moreFenghuang鳳凰 (fènghuáng) A mythological bird symbolizing virtue and imperial harmony in East Asian cultureBeing · Power and authority · Love and attraction Legendary 🇹🇷 Turkey and 1 moreTurkish folkloreTürk halk kültürü A rich body of oral tales, jokes, and rituals from Turkey and the Turkic worldTradition · Protection · Healing Living 🇮🇶 Iraq and 5 moreLove magic Rituals and spells used to attract, preserve, or end romantic relationships across many cultures.Tradition · Love and attraction · Cursing and harm Historical 🇯🇵 JapanKami神 Spirits and deities of Shinto, found in nature, ancestors, and placesBeing · Protection · Luck and prosperity Living 🇮🇳 India and 1 moreNakshatraनक्षत्रम् (Nakṣatram) A system of lunar mansions used in Hindu and Buddhist astrology to map the sky.Tradition · Seeing and foretelling · Luck and prosperity Living 🇮🇳 IndiaMuhurtamuhūrta A Hindu unit of time used to select auspicious moments for rituals and daily practiceBelief · Power and authority · Speaking with spirits and the dead Living 🇮🇷 Iran and 3 moreIranian folkloreفولکلور ایرانی The oral legends, heroes, and spirits of Greater IranTradition · Protection · Seeing and foretelling Living 🇬🇹 Guatemala and 1 moreTzolkʼinAj Ilabal Qʼij A 260-day cycle used by the Maya for divination and ritual timingTradition · Seeing and foretelling · Luck and prosperity Living 🇺🇦 Ukraine and 1 moreUkrainian folklore The folk traditions of Ukraine and its ethnic communitiesTradition · Speaking with spirits and the dead · Luck and prosperity Living 🇮🇪 IrelandIrish folklorebéaloideas The oral traditions, myths and customs of IrelandTradition · Wonder and entertainment Living 🇮🇪 Ireland and 1 moreBrigid's crossCros Bhríde A woven straw charm hung for protection, named after Ireland's patron saintCharm · Protection · Luck and prosperity Living 🇮🇳 IndiaAtharvavedaअथर्ववेद The fourth Veda of Hinduism, containing spells, healing rites, and domestic rituals.Text · Protection · Healing Historical 🇧🇷 Brazil and 5 moreWhite Lady A female ghost in white clothing linked to tragedy and omens across many culturesFigure · Cursing and harm · Seeing and foretelling Legendary 🇳🇬 Nigeria and 1 moreBoriBòòríí A traditional Hausa spirit possession system and healing practice in West AfricaTradition · Healing · Luck and prosperity Living 🇨🇳 China and 3 moreQilin麒麟 A legendary chimerical creature from Chinese mythology that signals the arrival or death of a sage.Being · Power and authority Legendary 🇮🇳 IndiaKautuka A red or yellow ritual thread worn for protection in South Asian traditionsCharm · Protection Living 🇻🇺 Vanuatu and 5 moreKava culture A shared ritual across Oceania where a root brew marks ceremony, respect, and social gathering.Tradition · Speaking with spirits and the dead · Luck and prosperity Living 🇮🇩 Indonesia and 3 moreDragon's blood A bright red resin from several plant species used in magic, medicine, and art since antiquitySubstance · Healing · Protection Living 🇮🇳 India and 5 moreKolamகோலம் A daily geometric floor drawing made with rice flour at the home entrance in South IndiaTradition · Protection · Luck and prosperity Living 🇯🇵 JapanOmamori御守/お守り Japanese amulets from shrines and temples for luck and protectionCharm · Protection · Luck and prosperity Living 🇪🇪 Estonia and 5 moreFern flower A mythical bloom said to bring fortune and unlock secrets, found only on midsummer night.Belief · Luck and prosperity · Love and attraction Living 🇨🇳 China and 1 moreYue Lao月下老人 The Chinese deity of marriage who binds destined couples with red cordsBeing · Love and attraction · Binding and oaths Legendary 🇹🇷 TurkeyHamsa (sample)Khamsa An open hand with an eye, hung on doors.Charm · Protection · Luck and prosperity Living

Photo credits on this page

The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.

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